


Hamartia

by collapsethelightintoearth



Series: Dark(ish) Doctor Drabbles [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), Dark Eleventh Doctor, Drabble, Drama, Dubious Morality, Eleventh Doctor Era, Gallifrey, Gen, Gen Work, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, Mentioned Amy Pond (Doctor Who), Morally Ambiguous Character, Referenced Time War (Doctor Who), The Doctor (Doctor Who) Lies, The Doctor (Doctor Who) is a Mess, Time Lord Victorious, Time War Angst (Doctor Who), Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23638291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collapsethelightintoearth/pseuds/collapsethelightintoearth
Summary: Hamartia (n.): a fatal flaw leading to the downfall of a tragic hero or heroineOr:The Doctor thinks of himself as the hero, not only of his own story, but everyone else's as well.He's an excellent liar, especially to himself, but still the mantle ofherosits heavily on his shoulders, a burden that only ever manages to be a partial truth.
Series: Dark(ish) Doctor Drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651645
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	Hamartia

The Doctor thinks of himself as the hero, not only of his own story, but everyone else's as well. He's an excellent liar, especially to himself, but still the mantle of _hero_ sits heavily on his shoulders, a burden that only ever manages to be a partial truth. This arrant deception is perhaps his most fatal flaw, though he's rarely included in the body count. It's his companions that pay the ultimate price in this regard; by the time they get a glimpse of who they're really traveling with, it's too late. Even the ones who are lucky enough to leave unscathed can never go back to what they were before, and that’s not always a good thing.

He'll convince himself, and everyone around him, that all he wants to do is help, that he's merely a _madman with a box_ , and no one needs to know about the times he's played God, wildly alight with every fevered possibility of _just how far_ he can push the universe before it pushes back, and the drive to make even time itself bend to his will.

Amy looks him straight in the eye and calls him kind, and says, _you couldn’t just stand there and watch children cry_ , and her belief in that moment is absolute, unbreakable. (She will never know about all of the children of Gallifrey, collateral damage left to cry and breathe in the ashen air of their world for as long as they may live.)

Still, the Doctor _is_ kind, sometimes, and to a point. But then a time will come when he snaps in a paroxysm of rage, or a quietly simmering anger that's been suppressed for far too long. The illusion will buckle under the weight of his fury, and in the aftermath, he’ll question all he believes about himself. For a little while, anyway, before he lets those thoughts slide back down into the depths of his mind, along with everything else he's learned to run from. This cycle will inevitably repeat, whether it be in one year or a hundred, and he never learns.

(Ironically, it's often his enemies who are shown the most of his nature; they witness the righteousness and protective instincts, just as his companions do, but they are also subjected to the full force of his fury, which can burn either hot or cold, but burns all the same. Like Gallifrey, it’s a dangerous and untempered force and, like Gallifrey, he will stop at nothing to outrun its truth.)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Part 3 of my Whovian angst-fest.


End file.
